dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i now understand why vodka
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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