oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
