I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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