Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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