He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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