one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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