I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
