I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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