he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
