Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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