dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
