"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
