anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
