So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
