well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
