I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
