I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
