She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize