Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
