So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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