i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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