I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
