My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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