I just saw a hot homeless man
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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