It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
