do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
