My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
