Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
