After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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