My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
