I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We need to get me chipped asap
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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