the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
