Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
