god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
