Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
