im about as happy as oj after his trial
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
