I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You need a sexual gate keeper
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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