Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
