I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
