you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
