just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
