I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
