So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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