Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
