I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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