it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
