yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
