Having a random hookup so left but love u
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
