He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
