So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
