i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
