make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
