Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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