Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
