If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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