Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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