He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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