it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
