I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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