Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
