She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize