My cat gives me a boner
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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