erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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