It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
