lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
