Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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