i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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