I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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